I know this because, after a rather heated argument with my parents about my TV habits, I volunteered to spend a whole month without TV, video or anything remotely related to them. The bottom line is that it turned me into a far worse person.

There are two things you quickly notice about not watching TV. The first is that everyone with a telly watches it far more than they admit. The second is that it gives thousands of hours of good quality entertainment for astonishingly little cost. What critics have long maintained is that TV destroys the mind, but I’ve now got to admit that people who haven’t got a TV become restless, edgy and ultimately obsessed with trivia.

I tried keeping a diary of the experiment: “Day 1. Life is so much better without TV. I’m doing so much more, and I feel a better person…” and so on…The second week was just dull. I felt slightly numb and dimly aware of everyone else was having fun while I couldn’t allow myself to do so. Going out with friends also got problematic. I now realize that at least two-thirds of conversations begin:”Hey! Did you see… the other night?” Of course I didn’t! People started regarding me as some sort of sad case.

The lowest points of the month were two England-Scotland football matches, for which I joined Britain’s long-distance lorry drivers and shop staff listening to the radio. Whilst I was sure life went on as normal in Wales, life everywhere else in mainland Britain came to a complete halt that day. I know it because I stared out of the window watching the rest of the population hurrying home to watch the matches.

Then total disaster struck. I got flu and had to spend a day at home. Despite the thrill of comfort food and reading the newspaper in bed with the central heating on, there seemed no point in having a day off sick if you couldn’t watch TV. I was back at work the next day.

The last few days were like being a small child before Christmas: each minute took twice as long as the preceding one. Eventually, midnight crept around, and, like a drowning man finding dry land, I leapt in front of the set and grabbed the remote control as if it was pure gold! I had reached an oasis of televisual delights. And, of course, you’ve guessed it! There was nothing interesting on!

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