"The God Delusion" By Richard Dawkins. Philosophical Fiddling While Rome Burns — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

While the world goes its self-destructive way – not entirely because humans differ in their beliefs about the nature of and existence or nonexistence of God – we have yet another book by a contemporary philosopher, riffling through the dusty bones of ancient arguments that can never be settled, because one opinion supported by inconclusive evidence can never disprove another opinion supported by inconclusive evidence.

The author, the widely known skeptic Richard Dawkins, chooses to take easy potshots at the traditional concept of God as presented in the Bible, the tribal tapestry of which contains threads that cannot, understandably enough, be neatly sorted out by logical analysis.

He also goes on to deal with the usual proofs presented by theologians for the existence of God – first trotted out by Thomas Aquinas in his Summa Theologica, the Aristotelian riff in which he famously argued backward from his forgone conclusions.

But now let’s skip to a few questions that actually matter.

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The Invention of Water And Air Creatures; Part Six, The Invention of Everything, An Eyewitness Account — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

Now, the stage was set. We had land, water, the sky, heat and light, and our first invention, a way for whatever creatures we would invent to reproduce and have a great time doing so. Now, we were ready to develop the actual creatures who would inhabit the invention. Today we were scheduled to start with the ones that would go in the water and air.

“I want to congratulate everybody for your work so far. It’s because of your dedication and contributions that we can now invent the creatures who will inhabit the universe. I understand you brought some prototypes.”

“Yes, I did. I thought some samples would be helpful.”

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After Election Debate, Emergency Medics Labor To Uncross Hillary Clinton’s Fingers — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

In a recent debate with her Republican opponent in the race for the Senate, Hillary Clinton was repeatedly challenged about her presidential ambitions and accused of inattention to her duties as a Senator from New York. Ever unruffled, she maintained that she is very much focused on her work as a Senator and, crossing her fingers, insisted that she has not yet made a decision to run for the presidency.

The debate did go on and Senator Clinton, who may still experience some constraints against outright lying, kept her fingers crossed during the entire event. As a result, she was surprised to discover immediately after leaving the podium that she simply could not uncross her digits.

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North Korean Says, “Sorry. Please, Pass The Collection Basket” — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

Almost immediately after North Korea provoked the world by testing a nuclear weapon, the supplicant said, “We’re sorry. Please, pass the collection basket.” The Dennis The Menance routine was part of the country’s shaky policy to extract as many donations as possible in its bid to support a lavish lifestyle for Kim Jong IL without the slightest evidence that his country has an economy.

The repentance was ideally timed to flatter its largest donor nation, China, which sent a nuclear envoy to discuss the upsetting explosion and, with oriental subtlety, to slap his butt for it. Spying the ideal opportunity to stroke its benefactor, at the same time it might head off pending sanctions, North Korea sent him home with a bouquet of wailing regrets.

“How could we have done such a thing?” the official North Korean press agency lamented. “Imagine how wrong we were! Forgive us and hand over our incentives.”

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U. S. Population Reaches 300 Million; Wow, That’s A Lot Of Lovemaking! — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

he US population has now reached 300 million. True, it has taken since the ancestors of the American Indians migrated across the Aleutian Islands and dropped in via Alaska and since the Mayflower contributed the first European contingent.

But what can we say? Even given early Puritanical restraint and continuing inexplicable guilt about making out the way we were created to, we made it.

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Omnipotent Weapon Enlisted To Halt Nuclear Proliferation: The Almighty Dollar — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

The Bush administration has finally turned in its battle against nuclear proliferation to the one Western weapon that is apparently downright omnipotent:The Almighty Dollar.

Washington has begun to employ the mighty new weapon to cut off Iran and North Korea from the international financial system.

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President Of Iran Questions Iran’s Right To Exist — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

With a surprising salvo of bravado, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has asked the provocative question, “Does Iran have a right to exist?”

In the startling speech, he warned Western nations, especially European ones, that they will be hurt if they continue to insist that Iran should not be wiped off the map. And, during a national radio address, he hinted, “You should know that the rage of people is boiling hot enough to poach a dozen pigeon eggs and is like an ocean that is welling up even worse than Katrina. Once its storm begins blowing, it will go beyond the borders of Lebanon and Palestine, and it will, God willing, hurt Iran.”

The President also told a throng of thousands that Iran could not last long after its experience in backing Hezbollah in its fight with Israel. “In devastating Hezbollah,” he insisted, “Israel shattered the myth that Iran is undefeatable. So we have taken a giant step toward our cherished goal of convincing the entire world that Iran has no reason to exist.”

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Three Turban Monte; Bush And Rumsfeld Find Themselves Playing A Real Sucker's Game — Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

We all know the story of the rube who gets sucked into a game of Three-Card Monte on Fifth Avenue and watches his bets disappear in the pockets of the quick-handed sharpie at the folding card table. And what do we have in the Middle East now but a variation of the same obvious sucker’s game, which we choose to call Three Turban Monte?

Can you pick the Medieval headgear under which we can hope to find a winner? Or are we bound to be snookered?

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Monstrous Trivia — Deanna Mascle

1. The Abominable Snowman, Yeti, Bigfoot, and Sasquatch appear in one form or another in which epics?

A. Ancient Sumaria epic
B. Russian literature
C. Anglo-Saxon literature
D. Greek mythology
E. All of the above

E. All of the above
TOPICS: The “wild man of the woods” is a familiar figure in folklore from Enkidu of the Gilgamesh Epic, the Russian leshiy, Grendel in the Anglo-Saxon epic Beowulf, and Silenus and the satyrs in Greek mythology. Contemporary reports are...

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Stupid Criminal Anecdotes — Gerard Simington

There is an old cliché that crime does not pay, but sometimes you have to wonder. Of course, the intellect of the person committing the crime certainly needs to be taken into account!

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Lawyer Jokes — Gerard Simington

It is often said that if you can’t laugh at yourself, you need to lighten up. In the case of lawyer jokes, you might be surprised that many lawyers find them funny as well.

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Learning From Mistakes: Terrible Superhero Costumes — Jordan Marston

If you are getting ready for Hallowe’en or just getting dressed in the morning, here are a few terrible superhero costumes that can teach us all a valuable lesson.

1. The Falcon

The Falcon, Captain America’s sidekick, currently has a costume that fits the superhero universe just fine. However, Falcon’s earlier costume was entirely spandex, that exposed both his chest and his entire arms. This revealing outfit is made even more hilarious by the

The Moral: Never wear a...

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There’s No Humor In Identity Theft — Elizabeth Newberry

We’ve all seen those credit card commercials on television advertising ways to keep your identity safe. They involve innocent victims of identity theft talking in the voices of the criminals who stole their identities. One includes a couple of old ladies sitting on a sofa surrounded by gaudy decorations involving flowers and doilies. While this doesn’t sound so unusual, the ladies are speaking in the voices of two men who have stolen their credit cards, and possibly their ide...

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Which Voice Is Yours? — Jimmy Tiep

In the Alcazar show, you see transgender girls perform world’s different masterpieces. But the one that they uniquely own is the double-faced singer, who is a man when turned to the left and a woman when turned to the right. And he/she plays both roles and sings both male and female voices.

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How to Fake Fitness in Your Family Photos — Mary Fagan

Some tongue in cheek tips on how to manipulate your photos so you look your best in family photo albums.

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